Members of the Defenders of Defendery pose for the Times before leaving for their traditional "World saving after-party." (TIMES/CHIP WHIPLY)
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The Defenders of Defendery dealt a blow to the surging Cabal by defeating Mary MacComber not once, but 10 times. (TIMES/CHIP WHIPLY)
(as reported in the Paragon Times, 22 Jan 2008)
Paragon University reopens after magical scare
By Barker Trist
CROATOA – After four days of canceled classes at Paragon University's Croatoa campus, students are once again filing into the halls after the ongoing threat from the Cabal, a sinister cadre of witches, was put down by the Defenders of Defendery.
“I'm just glad life is back to normal,” said Jimmy Sipowicz, a sophomore philosophy major at the school. “It's one thing to ditch class to go smoke...I mean, hit the mall. It's another altogether when the forces of evil keep us away.”
Defenders members Jonathan “Irruption” Barnes and Bambi McGoo were at Paragon Hall Monday to hail the students' return.
“I'm just glad we could keep Paragon safe once again for life, liberty and learning,” said Barnes, who devised the plan to take out the Cabal and restore what passes for sanity in the troubled neighborhood. “But I have to say, without the help of my esteemed colleague Bambi, I don't think we could have beaten back the witches.”
McGoo, one of the masterminds of the Defenders-McGoo Family merger several months ago, really came into her own as a hero during the battles against Mary MacComber. MacComber, the self-proclaimed leader of the Cabal, saw fit to personally battle the Defenders not once, but ten times. Thanks to McGoo's ability to hinder and weaken the Salem witch trial veteran's barbs and missiles, the Defenders were able to whittle away her power to nothing.
“I don't know. I didn't do anything different than usual, but that woman was going down whether she liked it or not,” added McGoo of the epic fight. “We were doing some weird stuff at first. Irruption kept sending Jeb[idiah Jackson, The Indentured Servant] off to get his tail whupped' for some reason or another, but it just didn't work.”
“I value all of the members of the team,” Barnes quickly added. “Jeb's sacrifices, and willingness to sacrifice for the greater good, is well-documented. I would never ask him to do something he wasn't already willing to do.”
After dispatching the Cabal, the balance of power swung to the Red Caps, a situation the Defenders had to quickly correct before normalcy in the community could return.
“Katie [Hannon] just asked us to go help her aunt. We had no idea she was Cabal, too,” added McGoo. “That's the weird part about this place. You come to do good, and you start to learn that the only way to do good is to help evil sometimes.”
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The Defenders of Defendery dispatched many members of The Council as they investigated the connection between Citadel and the emerging Mekman menace. (TIMES/CHIP WHIPLY)
(as reported in the Paragon Times, 19 Dec 2007)
Mekman menace points to Council source
By Barker Trist
TALOS ISLAND – The Paragon Police Department today officially removed Citadel as a suspect in the case regarding the Mekmen which terrorized Paragon City in the past several days.
Police made the determination following the arrest and subsequent confession of Vandal, a high-ranking member of the Council faction, to the development and deployment of the mechanized threat.
"Thanks to the efforts of the Defenders of Defendery, The Council will not win this day," said a PPD spokesman at a press conference this morning. "The Council's Mekman project has been shut down, and the remaining units will be found and destroyed in the coming days."
The DoD's Peasov Schepp, speaking through his court-appointed translator, spoke of the technology employed by the villians in their quest for money and power.
"It would have been ingenious had the robots not been so stupid," said Schepp, who handles the DoD's research and development efforts. "So long as a machine cannot think like a man, it will never be able to defeat a man."
Schepp went on to explain that the original confusion started from the material of the Mekmen. Since they were of a similar construction as Citadel, he became an instant suspect.
"He asked us to look into it," said Jonathan "Irruption" Barnes of the case, which had devastating effects on the DoD's public image. In a Times poll, some 43 percent of readers saw the collaboration as an act of villiany on the part of the DoD. "We couldn't say no, especially when he said we could keep the Council tech for our own research."
Unfortunately for the DoD, that tech is still being held by the PPD. The case to release a portion of the evidence, which DoD lawyers claim is unnecessary to pursue the case against Vandal, will be heard in Rhode Island Superior Court early next week.
"At the end of the day, we just want to make sure that no one becomes a slave to the Council's automatons," added Jebidiah Jackson, "and we'll continue to work hard every day to protect Paragon's fine citizens."
Defenders of DUI: Peasov Schepp will answer his fourth DUI charge in eight months on January 4. He is being held in PPD custody without bail until his trial date. Schepp, a Russian-national here on an H4P hero visa, was not convicted on any of his previous three indictments.
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The Defenders of Defendery join Times reporter Jane Hallaway in celebrating the successful defense of the Terra Volta power plant. (TIMES/CHIP WHIPLY)
(as reported in the Paragon Times, 10 Dec 2007)
Reactor plot foiled by DoD heroics
By Barker Trist
INDEPENDENCE PORT, R.I. – The Defenders of Defendery were successful in defeating a battalion of Sky Raiders as they were attempting a military strike against the Terra Volta power plant Sunday.
After a routine sweep of the area and quick interrogation provided evidence that the Sky Raiders were in cooperation with the Council to knock out the power to over 75 percent of the residents of Rhode Island, the DoD acted, and swiftly.
Not so much to thwart the plot, but as a personal challenge.
“As soon as we found out, I knew we only needed a little time to dispatch such a force,” quipped DoD lieutenant Loose Radical. “I’m built for speed, and I pass that speed along to the Defenders. We would have saved the reactor more quickly if Jack (Jonathan “Irruption” Barnes) would have had his plan straight.”
Irruption’s mission for the DoD was clear, to dispatch every single Sky Raider inside the Terra Volta reactor.
“Such actions must be punished completely,” said Barnes, “any faction who wishes to wreck havoc upon the fair citizens of Rhode Island will face my wrath, and the wrath of the Defenders.”
"Well, he needs to speak up more quickly, then," added Loose Radical, who refused any further comment.
Irruption credited the success to teamwork, and to sacrifice. “There’s no question that Jeb’s ("The Indentured Servent" Jebediah Jackson) willingness to throw himself at the Sky Raiders helped us persevere. We found strength in his tenacity.”
Paragon City Works officials stated that there could be a brief outage for some residents of Paragon City on Tuesday, Dec. 12, as PCW re-certifies the safety of the reactor. The Terra Volta war walls are specially designed to contain all environmental hazards in the event of a catastrophic disaster.
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McGoo Family representative Boingo McGoo (left) applauds as the DoD's Irruption puts his signature on a joint operational agreement which will pool the crime fighting resources of the two factions. (TIMES/CHIP WHIPLY)
(as reported in the Paragon Times, 1 Dec 2007)
McGoos, DoD enter Joint Operating Agreement
By Barker Trist
ATLAS PARK, R.I. - History was made today, as the Defenders of Defendery forged an operational agreement with the McGoo Family of Superheroing, allowing two of the city's most prominent supergroups to pool resources against the forces of evil.
With the discovery of the Menders and heroes' new time-traveling abilities, it became clear that the factions must cooperate to further the cause of freedom.
"As the DoD sees the city's threats growing, the need for strong organization and advanced tools in the defense of Paragon is clear," DoD founder Jonathan "Irruption" Barnes said in a prepared statement Friday. "With the help of the McGoo Family, the DoD will continue its ongoing vigilance in the fight against evil."
It is an agreement that could not have come at a better time for a struggling McGoo Family, which has seen its hero insurance premiums skyrocket after the rather embarrassing "Monkee fling" incident two months ago.
Under the agreement, the McGoo Family will provide equipment and support to the DoD in return for a cash infusion that could equal up to $2.2 million over the two-year period of the contract.
McGoo Family representative Boingo, standing in for patriarch Angus, deferred all comments to public relations officer Rowena, who was also unable to attend the ceremony on the steps of City Hall.
Dual-member Bambi McGoo is seen by many as the architect of this deal, seeing the needs on both sides of the fence and working to bring the needy associations to the table.
"It was really a labor of love," said Bambi, who's hero career started when Irruption's vision of "extreme debuffery" was forged six months prior. "Though I have yet to work with my very close-knit family, I still see the pain in my father's eyes as he continues to struggle. [Monkee] still hasn't left the base since the mess, and I was sure Angus was going to close up shop."
There are no terms in the agreement regarding personnel assistance, with this deal being the first time the DoD has ventured outside of its own manor in hero relations.
"We know Quinten [McGoo]'s work, and we know it will help," added Barnes. "We'll see where it goes from here."
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